


Chris Knight: Babysitting Extraordinaire

by Pink_and_Velvet



Series: Writers Month: August 2019 [15]
Category: Real Genius (1985)
Genre: Baby sitting, Bunnies, Chris actually would be an awesome father, Date Night, Favour, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Jokes, Miscommunication, The usual Chris Knight awesomeness, Toys, inventions, work friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-08-23 12:21:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20242777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pink_and_Velvet/pseuds/Pink_and_Velvet
Summary: In Chris’ defence, his eyes were firmly on her chest. He wasn’t listening to her words but he readily agreed.And that was how he ended up babysitting an eight month old.Writersmonth Day 17 Prompt:Accidental Baby Acquisition





	Chris Knight: Babysitting Extraordinaire

They’d met one night hanging late in the break room. Maria was a new transfer to Darlington Industries and was starting out in the same position Chris once had. They had been chatting for a hours at his desk, she’d kicked off her heels and put her feet up on her desk. She said her feet hurt so he leant her a pair of slippers. A pink pair to match his blue bunny pair.

She kept talking and Chris kept nodding. His eyes roamed all over her figure, her pencil skirt, her shapely legs. The tent in her blouse. She asked if he was free the following Friday night. He hadn’t really heard as to what she wanted to do with him but he readily agreed.

Maria showed up to the door in a slinky black number, blonde curls cascading down her back, in peep toe heels and bold bright lips to match.

Chris heard a car horn and she shoved something into his hands. Something warm and heavy.

“Thank you so much, Chris. I owe you. Everything you need is in here, and there’s a list of what to do when.” She kissed his cheek and scurried away.

“What in the—“

And that was how he ended up babysitting an eight month old.

It had been a couple of hours, baby Thomas was rolling around on the floor, making happy baby noises and clapping. Chris kept chucking toys over to him from the bag that he hadn’t even noticed Maria was carrying. His eyes had mostly been on her chest if he was honest with himself. Every once in a while he jumped up, yelled something, and began dancing his way around the room. Thomas just laughed and laughed, the sound spurring Chris on and on.

He didn’t really know much about babies, he was sure he’d never want one himself. He was a genius: _two condoms in wallet, not just one, duh._ But he sure as hell knew how to entertain.

Entertain he did.

He bought out a couple odd contraptions that he had lying about. Nothing too ‘grabby’, no loose parts, nothing that would blind them or laser them… the list went on. He kept it PG.

He pulled Thomas into his lap and began to explain each device, voice high and punctuating, so Thomas was laughing and nodding as though he understood. He bounced the baby in his lap and clutched at his tiny sides tight. They were both enjoying themselves and suddenly Chris was reminded about Maria’s itinerary.

“Screw it.”

He may or may not have lasered a bottle of some gross baby food to heat, but Thomas didn’t seem to mind. Chris made airplane sounds, teasing him with the spoon. He just kept laughing and laughing and Chris, joined in. Of course he did. 

He was puzzled on how to change his nappy at first but, then again, he was a genius. He got there. Eventually. By this point Thomas was yawning and stretching out, it was approaching 20:30 and Chris cursed, the time had run away from him.

He wouldn’t tell Maria that he put Thomas to bed half an hour after she’d wanted him too.

He laid Thomas down in his bedroom after shoving a pile of dirty or maybe not dirty clothes to the floor. The blankets were probably clean. He stroked Thomas’ short blonde hair and saw the baby’s eyes slipping closed. Chris yawned as his hand traced over Thomas’ sleeping form a final time before he upped and scurried out of his bedroom.

Chris was nodding off around 23:00 when he heard the doorbell. Chris, mussed and not at all about to straighten himself out, opened the door to Maria. She had a mischievous ‘I’m getting laid tonight’ look radiating from her. She looked desperate and about to burst.

“Thank you so much Chris, I’ll just get—“

Chris blocked her coming in.

“Somebody’s gonna _get it_ tonight aren’t they?” He crossed his arms and comically lowered his tone, sounding like a head teacher. 

Maria blushed, slightly. Chris raised his eyebrows. She nodded.

“Come and get him in the morning. But not too early, I sleep in Saturdays.”

She was beaming, “Are you sure, honestly I can—“

But Chris was already shewing her off of his drive.

“Go have fun, but not too much fun. Don’t do anything that I would do.” He said, with pride. “Or do, and fill me in with the consequences.”

She hugged him and kissed his temple. Maria was practically bouncing as she ran back to the car. She waved and Chris, was stunned.

There was another woman driving.

“Holy mother—“

His voice was dulled by the accelerator and screech of the tyres. Chris began laughing to himself, shaking his head in disbelief.

“—No wonder she didn’t take a run at all... _this_.” He gestured from his shoulders down his torso and grinned again.

He headed back inside and up the stairs to his bedroom.

Thomas was fast asleep, a thumb in his mouth. Chris crept over to his bedside drawer. He pawed through the bottom one.

“You don’t want to get addicted, you’re far too young for that.” He chuckled to himself and carefully pulled Thomas’ thumb from his tiny lips.

In its place Chris had laid a small toy. It was a bunny, grey and faded, with an eye missing and an ear falling off. It read ‘Chris’ across its stomach, sewn in baby blue.

“I’ll be downstairs if you need me, kid.” He smiled, voice quiet, and headed for the door.


End file.
